When you are going through a challenging time, there is a learning element to it. For example, I have learned to tell myself I will not do this, and I can’t have that. Yes, I want to go shopping, and yes that means spending money. In the past, I have spent money I did not have, which put me in a financial bind. Now I am learning what it means to say no, actually mean it, and discovering perhaps saying no isn’t all that bad after all.

I am not saying there is also a learning curve to saying no. Just like anything else, when there is a new way of doing things, one has to learn how to implement it in his or her life. Such is the case with me. At first, it was not the best of times; it was definitely the worst of times. So today as I had to make a decision to go to the gym (and really not wanting to go) I purposed in myself to say no to just laying around and instead go and get the exercising done. It did not take long, and I looked forward to going home and enjoying a nice hot shower. It was on my way home that I realized that when thoughts come into my mind the answer does not always have to be yes, with my action succumbing to the thought. I can do a Nancy Reagan response: Just say no.

So I realized something today: I can say no to myself and the reaction follow that demand of saying no. I  hope this continues, and that I can instill in myself with the help of God who makes a statement that with Him all things are possible, perhaps having the power to say no to myself is doable after all. So far, so good.

Today was a day full of ‘nuggets’. By that I mean listening to sermons that had within it a sentence that stuck with me. From listening to them I realized some things:

• You say you are waiting on God, but in actuality God is waiting on you. I thought of things I wanted to do, saying I am waiting for God to say when to go. In the Old Testament, oftentimes God said to go and then he would give further instructions. For example, in the book of Genesis God told Abraham (his name was Abram at the time) to move and go to a land where He will show him. Abram did not know where to go, but he gathered his family and belongings and started the journey. He moved.
• God would have us serve. That can’t happen if you continue to sit in the pew. If we are called to do something, gifted to serve, God has given us the tools we need to get started with the serving. He has provided his children with gifts to use in the kingdom, and to those that need to be in the kingdom.
• Answer your own prayers. I never thought about things in this manner. We pray for God to act in certain ways, when in fact we should delve out and get started. He has already provided the gifts. If we would just venture out, God will provide the direction, but we must take a leap of faith and launch out.
• Fire over Fear. We may be nervous about doing something, but do you want to be stuck in fear, which keeps us from moving forward, or do we want to experience God’s fire so much that we are willing to step over the fear? The choice is ours; as said before, oftentimes God is waiting for us.

If nothing else, what I heard others say today encouraged me tremendously. We can stay in the land of doubt, fear, and all the negative emotions that come with that, or we can exercise and increase our faith by packing up and moving to a city of commitment, obedience, and action.

We say we waiting on God, but is God waiting on YOU?

Earlier this year Planet Fitness started and completed construction on their latest gym which opened for business later in the month. I thought to myself that now I have no excuse not to go to the gym because there was one within walking distance to my home, one that had all the machines needed to get in shape. It took me until April to finally go online and open an account.

Now all I needed to do was to go. Days turned into weeks as I passed by it, never even going in to see what it looked like.

Today is Mothers Day. Today I went to the gym this morning. It had all the machines I was familiar with, and I actually stayed over an hour working out. I felt good having done it, and  I wondered why it took me so long to even begin.

I suppose that is the issue, just beginning. Countless times I wondered why even bother, thinking it would not work, though it worked for others I knew and read about. I noticed how they started and continued. There may have been times when they faltered, but it did not deter them from continuing on in their quest to lose weight and get healthy. Being a caregiver for my mother gave me even more incentive to go to the gym as a way of distressing myself. But still, I did not go.

I was reminded of a scripture I heard on a program this morning:

“Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:”  Philippians 1:6

Once God begins He never quits. He considers the work that has begun is a good one, worthy of completion. And that means He will see it to the end. It further means that when you are willing to accept and receive that good work, life will be much easier to live, because you are allowing him to do the work in you.

And so I hope to got to the gym tomorrow, hoping to keep a commitment to work out for the next five days, and to be open to the good work being performed of being on the road to getting healthy, and being like those who have 100+ pounds.

With God, all things are possible.

Psalm 46:1

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

If trouble has not visited you, know that it will drop by for an uninvited call at some point in your life. The turmoil happens to the just and the unjust, those who honor God, and those who do not. And that adversity touches people in different ways, through sickness of body (either you or a loved one), financial difficulty, marriage problems, employment (or lack thereof), and on and on. What can be done when we find ourselves in this time of difficulty? God’s Word has an answer.

The first verse of the forty-sixth psalm is full of information regarding who to go to in times of distress. This verse tells us where to go,  what is provided when we get there, and who provides it. In Psalm 46, the first and last verse include the word refuge, defined as a shelter from the storms of life. God also addresses this in Psalm 91, David wrote in the second verse that God is a refuge and a fortress, and because of this he trusts God. What about you when you’re in dire straits?

It is one thing to be a help to someone, but what a difference it is when that help is exceedingly; that is what the ‘very’ in the phrase very present help infers. God is not only where we can go and find shelter of mercy, grace and solutions, but He is an exceedingly found helper who wants to prove his character and power to anyone who dares to trust in and relinquish the issue to Him. See, we are not alone when in trouble. God is with us. Isaiah 9:6 gives a name: Emmanuel, God with us.  God’s presence is there, but we must tap into that presence while we are in the calamity called trouble. God is a shelter, a refuge of strength and power, providing an exceeding source of help to anyone who asks for it, while we are experiencing distress.

We don’t have to experience distress and anguish alone. God’s power can be utilized in a way that only shows He is omniscient and full of power, giving the provision of exceeding help in trying times. God has provided the invitation of refuge; will you accept it?

“Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth. The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah.”

 Psalm 46: 10,11

We all live life on various levels that include multiple ways of achieving goals; it is the way we do this thing called life.  It is a type of dance. For instance, when we were kids, and our parents would tell us to do something, we would then try to discover a different way of doing it,  if we do it at all. Because (and especially during our teenage years), our thought was not our parents who had the knowledge, it was us who knew what to do. They were old and didn’t know anything. It was us, the child, the teenager, the college student , who knew what was best. Then we became adults, and we started awakening to the startling fact that perhaps our parents knew a thing or two after all,  though (and let’s be honest) we did not verbally admit it to them, and perhaps we also did not want to acknowledge to ourselves that while  we strived to be independent beings, we were in fact dependent on them for our very survival.

The issue of being independent continues well into our adulthood. Through life experiences we believe we have more sure footing to handle the next problem, based on lessons learned from the past. At times that can be a good thing; in others, it can be a disaster. What happens when  the system you’ve developed and used for years in solving various issues doesn’t work anymore? What do you do when you are all out of solutions? What do you do when you say “I’m independent” has no bearing on your present situation?

Funny thing about the word independent, it is how you look at it that makes all the difference.  The dictionary defines this word as not relying on anything or anyone else; not being subject to control, showing a desire for freedom, (and here’s a good one) being self-governing. That is what we wanted when we were teens, right, wanting to self govern ourselves through life? Now that we’re all grown up, there may be a problem with that philosophy, as for many of us, including the faith-based person, many continue to self-govern themselves to no avail. Thus, the answers we come up with that may have worked in the past are no longer working. Perhaps it is our mindset that keeps us stuck in such a way that enables us to live life as we always have, not trying new solutions, but continually continuing in what we have grown so accustomed to doing. Implementing something different is scary and unknown, so we live life in the self-governing box we developed; a square-shaped quagmire, a situation that is hard to deal with and difficult to get out of. But…

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart,  and do not rely on your own understanding;
think about Him in all your ways,  and He will guide you on the right paths.”  Proverbs 3:5,6

The above verses define being in-dependent. In this context, being in dependent is not the definition the dictionary. It is living in a way that is dependent on the ways, the thoughts, and the guidance of Someone Else other that ourselves.  If we commit our way to God and trust in Him, He will act (Psalm 37:5). If we do not rely on our understanding of the situation but instead lean to God’s viewpoint, there will be  a different result to the situation. Then we can say as David wrote in Psalm 124 that had it not been for the Lord who was on our side, we would have been swallowed quick by the enemy.

So it is all about perspective regarding the word in-dependent. For purposes of this blog, it means living life in the realm of dependency in God, not in the governing of self. It may be difficult at first, but keep trusting, waiting and leaning on the God of all sufficiency, and you will soon be doing the happy dance of independance… be strengthenized.

“A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;” 

Ecclesiastes 3:4

This week has been a bit difficult from two extremes.

A time to weep…a time to mourn,

First my friend Janie (name changed). During the summer her father, who had been cancer free, was now deemed terminally ill, as the cancer returned. Sometime this year he would be gone, her family was told, which may take a few months or a few weeks.  As the summer wore on, Janie’s father stopped eating, and he lost a lot of weight. Mentally he just wasn’t there. Then came this week. He went into a deep sleep and within two to three days, he was gone. Janie  told me  that she had accepted his passing, but when I saw her the next day she was tired as she got no sleep the night before, saying she “had to get out of there.” My thought: it is one thing to say you accept loosing your father, but quite another when you witness your father is no longer in this world, but of another. As I texted her to see how her day was going, she responded by saying it was okay, and she was “just taking it a day at a time.” Weeping and mourning…

“…and a time to laugh;…and a time to dance”

It had been a year in the making, but today would be the last time I would be working with John; after today he begins enjoying retirement. I noticed that as the time came closer to his last day of work, John was more relaxed, showing ear-to-ear smiles as the time drew near. A man full of wisdom, I will miss the end of the work day, when there was just him and me, and we would have deep conversations. Today we left the office together and got into our cars, left our parking spaces at the same time, and as we parted ways, I put my hand out the window  and waved to him, as tears came to my eyes; I will truly miss a coworker that I trained to do the job but actually he taught me so much more. OMG, the tears are coming again, as I know John is laughing and doing his happy dance…

In a space of time, this has been an emotional week for me, seeing two people react in different ways for different reasons. I mourn with Janie and rejoice with John, crying through it all.

In listening to a message recently the minister spoke of the issue of being noncomplimentary. For example, if someone yells at you, the response would be to yell back. Or if you are cut off by a driver perhaps you would do the same to them. It’s complimentary.  But what happens when one is non-complimentary?

In the fourth chapter of Mark Jesus said to the disciples to “go across to the other side.” And then while all were in the ship, Jesus went asleep. Then in their attempt to get to the other side, a storm came, tossing the ship back and forth, water filling up the ship, and fear enveloped them. But the majority of them were professional fishermen, and they were disciples. They had received teachings from Jesus. They were chosen, people of The Way, and yet, they were acting in a noncomplimentary way, as though they were never taught to believe, to have faith the size of a grain of mustard seed, to say to the mountain to be removed in faith believing and it will be cast into the sea (Matthew 17:20). In the midst of the storm, their focus was not on faith, but on the storm. They needed to speak to the storm, because Jesus had given them authority to do so; that would have been the complimentary way of living life in The Way. The speaker of the message I listened to said after the disciples woke up Jesus, complaining that he didn’t care that they perished or not, Jesus looked at them as though they were unrecognizable. What Jesus saw were cloaks of fear, not clothing of righteous, and certainly not of faith. Do we wear the same type of clothing from the Fear brand (false evidence appearing real)?

If that is what’s worn, it’s no wonder Jesus doesn’t recognize us, and in fact, we don’t recognize ourselves. This noncomplimentary way of existence causes us to not to go forward, but be consumed with fear that has no factual grounds of authentic truth. But, like the disciples, we can go God and ask for help. But after Jesus calmed the sea and the storm ceased, he asked them why they were so afraid and still had no faith? After what the disciples saw Jesus do, he outwardly wondered aloud why it was that still faith was not being activated. After many a time of your seeing what God has done in your life, is God saying the same about you? Are you unrecognizable in your noncomplimentary ways?

So here is the challenge for those who claim to be believers. The following is complimentary:

• Decide whose report you will believe:  the one full of fear or the report of the Lord. God will be please if you chose the latter.
• When fear presents itself, make the complimentary choice of not wearing the fear brand
• “If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth.” Mark 9:23

I know this word is not in the English vocabulary, so please allow me some creative freedom.

Have you ever experienced something and just accepted it? Perhaps you have not questioned it, or wondered why it is happening, but just went with the flow of it. Here is the problem with that: when it’s something that interferes with your normal daily living, it needs to be addressed, particularly when the experience is against what God’s word says.

Let’s take for example the lack of getting restful sleep. God would not have you being tired during the day and awake at night when his word says the following:

When thou liest down, thou shalt not be afraid: yea, thou shalt lie down,

and thy sleep shall be sweet. Proverbs 3:24

Where in this verse is there any indication that this means your sleep shall be full of turmoil, that has you tossing and turning, waking up full of frustration, and more tired than you were before you initially laid down to sleep? This is an indication that what you are experiencing is not of God, but of the enemy. I can speak of this because I have been going through this for years. Last night I prayed for help…the sleep lasted for 3.5 to 4 hours, and I woke up, full of frustration. That was coupled with pain in parts of my body that had me turning from one side to the other trying to get comfortable and back to sleep.

This morning I felt no different than I did when I went to sleep the night before. I acknowledged to myself:

• I have accepted the lack of sleep, the not being able to turn my head off when it is time to go to sleep. This has caused me to just exist. I acknowledge that eating candy in an attempt to get some energy doesn’t work, that just eating to get some energy does not work, and I am tired of being tired.
• Things don’t change because of my acceptance of the way things presently are. Why should anything change when I am not doing anything to change?

Something has to change. No more acceptance, I will incorporate a plan of disceptance.

Disceptance is defined in my dictionary of the English language as a verb that does not accept what is not helping me. It involves being radical, in that one is saying that acceptance is not working will no longer be tolerated. It acknowledges that in order to make disceptance work one must no longer just think of wanting to change but act regarding change, and in essence one accepts the concept of disceptance.

From a spiritual standpoint, disceptance is like what Jesus did when he  overturned the moneychangers’ tables (Matthew 21:13), and said the church should be called a house of prayer, but the people had turned it into a den of thieves. He was not accepting of the normal way people did things, he was discepting of their ways. Likewise when he healed people. But what is interesting is that the people were no longer accepting their illnesses and acting on their faith that Jesus could do something to make their life more than one of mere existence. We could all learn something from that.

So I am starting to make the change which includes more prayer, reading scripture on healing (and sleeping), and acknowledging that perhaps I am closer to breakthrough than I have ever been, which is probably why the enemy is attempting to block me with lack of sleep. I don’t want him to win, and hope in your struggles the same is true. So:

• What is your struggle (what you have accepted), that you have accepted instead of discepting it?
• Devise a plan of change: a) What you want to change   b) Find scripture that is the basis for change, and that can encourage you to change c)  Pray to God to give you the power to make the change, and be violent in taking back what has been stolen from you. Reclaim it and don’t accept: discept!  Be strengthenized in the process…

Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations:  That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing                          of Jesus Christ: I Peter 1: 6, 7

Have you ever felt heavy emotionally, mentally? This is what describes my present circumstance. It’s an environment I don’t wish to experience, yet it’s a place I am presently residing in.

I thought of those who exuded not just faith, but great faith, there’s a description of them in the eleventh chapter of Hebrews in the bible. When their faith was put on trial, they passed with flying colors. Based on their level of faith, they acted on their belief system, and God was pleased and rewarded them. Let’s not forget Jesus, who through the enemy was put on trial in Matthew chapter 4. Each time the temptation was presented, Jesus acted by giving the Word, which only makes sense as he is the Living Word of God (John chapter 1).

If Jesus was put on trial, and we are his followers, the same will happen to us. But there is something to keep in mind. In court proceedings, the prosecution and the defense each present their case, and it is the way they present it that will determine the outcome. I call it the foundation. Which side has the stronger or more firm foundation that proves the guilt or innocence of the defender? For the believer, when your faith is put on trial and goes through the fire, how firm is your foundation? What tools do you have in place that will get you through the ‘season’ of manifold temptations? As Jesus did, may I suggest the application of the Word of God. But in order to use that, you must know that, which means you must read the letters that form words, sentences, commands, and promises that are found in the bible. That book sitting and gathering dust will not help you during your trial; opening the book, reading the book, and immersing your mind and spirit in the sacred text will aid in getting through the season of heaviness. And here is the good part of it all: not only will your faith be stronger, your foundation will be firmer, and what God will bestow is blessings upon you, informing you that you have passed the test and won the trial. Be encouraged, and be strengthenized…

This is day two of discoveries. There was something I really had my heart set on. I felt it was from God, the timing seemed to be spot on, and I was waiting to receive it.

But it didn’t happen.

Initially I felt really disappointed, and the opportunity to do my usual reaction of going downward presented itself to me. As I was at my desk yesterday regarding discovery, I was at my desk today when I got the news that what I thought was going to happen had come to a screeching halt.

I remember sometime last year a similar situation occurred with the same result.  That was fine with me, as I was felt like there was something better that was waiting for me. But yet about a month ago, I was still trying to make my present situation work for me. I hope you are reading this correctly: it was I who was trying to make things work. Have you ever been there? Have you ever been in a situation where you don’t particularly like it, but at least you know what to expect, know what is going to happen, and you accept it and continue with it. The problem is there is so much more to experience, more than being in a stuck atmosphere of mere acceptance of the mundane, living a below average life instead of living and experiencing freedom.

That is the word that has been ringing in my head this week. Freedom, Freedom              where are you?  Cause I need freedom too! Strong lyrics in Beyoncé’s song Freedom. But as I continued to think,  getting what I wanted would not give me freedom, but put me in deeper bondage, mentally, financially, and physically. I had to admit once I realized what I wanted was not going to happen, somewhere within I felt a bit relieved. Am I still where I am that I don’t want to be? Yes. But what is great about all of this is there is still a door just waiting to be found, waiting to be opened, and it is the door where there is true freedom as God would want it.

And if you are a believer, wouldn’t that be what you want, which is what He wants? I hope your answer is yes. This and much more came to mind as those who care about me said there is something better. I learned today that there is a door I need to locate and open, not being afraid to walk through. As my minds eye opened to that possibility, I discovered there was no mental madness as I described yesterday: no feeling bad about myself, wanting to indulge in the downward spiral of negativity with its close friend called depression. The enemy may have sent me a mental invitation to wallow in self-pity, but I turned down the psychological email. Instead I determined to continue on knocking until the right door presents itself.

The response to negative news does not mean you have to inwardly respond in the negative. Your glass is not half empty. There is something better out there. How we respond actually may make your glass more than half full. I thanked God I didn’t get what I wanted (a new and different reaction far different from the why-didn’t-this-happen-for-me syndrome I usually suffer through). That usual thought has been replaced with well God, what’s next?

So I will continue to find my door that God wants me to walk through, and if I allow him in faith believing, he will present it to me, for I

“Won’t let my freedom rot in hell…Hey! I’m a keep running                                                  Cause a winner don’t quit on themselves!”*

*lyrics from Freedom by Beyonce

Be strengthenized…