Things aren’t ever the way they seem, as I learned today. The response to a situation (in thought) may be one way, but in reality it is quite something else. And that something else realism may be one of a gifted surprise.
Take today for example. I was not aware my manager was meeting with someone whose case was mine. Without going into a lot of detail, this person was not happy with the way things were going, and the way he responded, um, let’s just say was not positive. When I got to work the manager’s door was closed, and I later found out from my coworkers who was in the meeting. At that moment, I started to pray that whatever the outcome I wanted to keep my cool and I asked for peace. Inwardly was another story. I knew what I asked for, but afterwards I started thinking about what was being said, what the manager was going to say to me, and I surmised (with no indication it would turn out this way) that it would be confrontational, she would not be happy with the case, and on and on I thought. Then, upper management (who was already involved) would write me up, I’d lose my job, and then what would I do? It got to the point that I had to mentally stop the madness of pointless thoughts that were not solving anything, that had no basis of fact, but continued to keep me mentally in an atmosphere of conflicted unrealism. Then something hit me. Could it be that that is what I like, being in a state of conflict? For a few moments as I sat at my desk as that thought had me at a standstill. Though I just asked for help, at the same time do I want the mental madness to be my reality so I would have a reason to manplain, starting the downward spiral of being in a world of “things as usual aren’t going well for me” mentality? There’s nothing positive with all of this.
Still at my desk, I decided that was no longer where I wanted to be, nor was it the place where I wanted to mentally reside. I went back into prayer and asked for deliverance from this mental trap that has kept me in bondage, keeping me harnessed in a negative cyclical medium of not going forward to new ways of thought processes and implementing new responses. In other words, I asked for His power to change.
In order to move forward, one has to acknowledge there is room for improvement that will open the door to change and invite the paradigm shift to the new. While at my desk, it was kind of refreshing to acknowledge to no one but myself that something had to give here, the negativity of thought has to pack up their bags of discouragement and move elsewhere. I have been in this battlefield of the mind far too long, and the madness has to end, and the response to it has to be one that has to connect to a new way of not only thinking but doing.
Later this afternoon, I noticed my manager’s door had opened. As I walked past the door the eyes of the persons who were meeting with my manager and mine met. My smile was genuine as I greeted them, and we exchanged some pleasantries. To you, that may not seem much, but to me it spoke volumes. I did not experience any animosity toward them, and as I left the office I noticed there was no inner conflict. At that moment I realized I had started down the path of change.
Does any of this resonate with you? Take a hard look at how you react to situations. What do you do to yourself that causes you to stress out, particularly when there is no indication that something horrible is about to happen? Then give it over to God who can, in an instant, open the door that leads to the possibility of thinking and acting in His realm of being new.