Constantly thinking about food is not a good way to live. It causes me to think about the next meal as I am ending the present one. While acknowledging I am getting older, eating at restaurants made me realize that my salt intake had increased over the years. The way I existed was a way I did not like. Sleeping problems, pants feeling tighter, ankles swelling, aches and pains, and on and on. Something needs to change. So why hadn’t I implemented change?

While I saw others lose weight, I did not think I was up to the challenge, and felt like an endless failure. Foods I liked weren’t good for me. Not wanting to cook for myself was replaced with eating out, because that was the quick way to get something to eat. The problem was I had to realize I was not satisfied, and because of that lack of satisfaction it made me want to eat more. I had no reward system, and I felt like I was driving myself deeper into an abyss that frankly made no sense.

Something truly needed to change.

I felt guilty going to the doctor. Constantly being told to lose weight and change my eating habits was the mantra of each appointment. And that mantra has been stated for well over a decade. Either my weight stayed the same, lost two or three pounds after six months, or increased by five or more pounds. If I am being honest, it was not that God was telling me I was a failure or losing weight was not going to work for me; I admitted that my mantra was that I didn’t think I could be successful.

But with God all things are possible, right? If I only believe it can happen right? With God’s help what seems impossible is indeed possible. The bottom line was this: God was waiting on me to implement change. And when the time comes to try improvement, He would be more than ready to help.

After much thought, I decided to try improving myself. I prayed to God to give me the power to say no to myself: no to eating out so much, no to eating candy, reviewing when I eat and making changes. For example, many times I am not hungry and don’t eat. But I believe my glucose dips too much, and I don’t feel well. So, the change has been to eat every two to three hours as my research has shown this is helpful for those with type 2 diabetes. I am learning that a full meal is not necessary, but eat something like some fruit, a salad, soup, or a small sandwich. I have experienced an improvement just by doing that.

Next is what I am eating. Fast food (my opinion) is like fake food. Something is missing from it, and/or so many other non-natural items are added that does not agree with my system, making me feel bloated and gassy, and wanting to quickly go to sleep within minutes of eating it. Change was needed. I noticed when I ate real food like roast beef with vegetables, having yogurt as a quick dessert, chia pudding with strawberries, not only did I not get immediately sleepy after eating, I did not think about food as much as I used to. Wow, what an improvement that has been!

And the power I asked God for? He has provided. I am saying no to myself when a thought comes to mind to get some candy or go to a restaurant. For example, my usual Sunday restaurant meal I did not have this past Sunday. That made me feel good about myself for a change.

I am encouraged to continue this. I know I am not the type to go on a strict diet, but I can make changes regarding food intake, get back in the habit of exercising at the gym and doing exercises my physical therapists recommended, all helping to establish something new: an improvement to life. I am giving myself to the end of October to see if I can lose the weight and get out of the 200s while I experience being strengthenized…