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Wasteful Subtlety

Subtleness can be delicate, like the light fragrance of perfume. Subtleness can take on a form not known to many, to possess something cunning, ingenious, clever and direct, its purpose disguised and moving one away from something.

Subtleness can have a motive you may not have been aware of until it is too late. Let me give you an example.

Once my day begins, I try to have a plan; clean the litter boxes, make sure the cat has enough food and water, get my exercises done, and other goals I want to accomplish. I do some of the jobs, and then before venturing into the next thing, I decide (not part of the plan) to play a game. Not a big deal, right? Won’t take long to do, and then I will get to my other goals. The game takes over, and it is a couple of hours later, the goals I planned to do have not been completed, and I noticed something that crept into my mind to do has cunningly imposed itself on my day in a way I was not expecting. It was cleaver and direct, and it had purpose: to get me off my planned schedule and threw off my day.

It is interesting how involved subtleness can be, how cunning it can intertwine with your mind. Like the subtleness of sleeping in taking up the time of exercising which, had it been done, my body would feel better. The subtle pleasure of eating too much, which overloads the stomach, which may create gas pain and multiple trips to the bathroom. The subtle game playing which replaces the time for spending time with God. Such time is essential to include Him in your day who can assist you with achieving your goals.

But instead, I started playing games. Not just for one block of time in one day, but multiple blocks of time in one day which led to many days of the week. Oh, wretched one that I am! But there is a solution.

  1. Stay on the alert!

Subtleness does not have to continue to cloak itself in a disguised purpose to overthrow your planned day. You don’t have to allow it to have its way. If you know where the subtleness is and what it is doing to you, it can be stopped. You may need help however, the power to tell subtleness it will not have its way with you today. Instead summon the power of the Holy Spirit to infiltrate the thought patterns of your mind and resist the subtleness of the enemy.

2. Resist the devil’s subtleness, which hopes you will be open to receive its purpose.

3. Ask the Lord for help; he will not only hear you but will help you.

So, my goal for today is to start weening myself off playing games, as for now it is a weakness that devours my time, and instead focusing on getting my goals completed. I think it is working. I got this post done, didn’t I? Thanks God!

(visuals from bible.com)

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Empty Calories of Life

I am part of the setup team at my church, and today the goal was to help set up for a program we do during the Christmas season. Because I had to be there early in the morning, I did not fix myself any breakfast, knowing there would be food at the event.

I wish I hadn’t done that. I should have stayed with my usual method of eating which would have been protein with veggies and drink water. Instead, I had hot dogs, pizza and punch, all things I don’t normally eat, and I realized what I had was empty, as it did not make me feel good. This morning, I felt empty, even though I had something to eat; I felt devoid of nourishment. I would have felt better if I had something my body could have benefited from.

Isn’t that how life is? We go towards life calories of drinking, eating junk food, surrounding us with people who are not in our best interest, making unwise choices, and on and on it goes. When all is said and done, we realize we have been living in a sea of empty calories, those things that we should stay away from, causing us to feel inwardly ill and tired from implementing such things in our lives.

I realized that when I eat meals that have calories my body can benefit from, I get energy instead of feeling tired, and I don’t feel guilty about what I ate. But what about life? When you realize you are not happy with the way life is going by accepting empty worldly calories, change is needed. Frankly, that is a good thing. Spiritually, when you first became a believer, you were young in Christ and needed nourishing milk. But many either stay with the milk or move away from that and instead continue to eat the empty worldly calories. But moving onto more solid food allows you to experience the following:

  • Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him. Psalm 34:8 NIV
  • Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil. Hebrews 5:13,14 NIV

Like me realizing I need more solid food physically, I also know I need solid food spiritually to live life according to what God wants. When I eat the right things physically, I feel stronger. When I spiritually digest God’s word by not only reading what is recorded in the bible but applying the meaning to my life, I get spiritually fat; and that is a good thing.

For many of us we have to keep running the race with the lifestyle God wants, having hearty spiritual meals, not worldly meals that contain empty calories. Hope you are encouraged to do the same…

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Go Beyond Thinking

Many times, the easiest thing to do is to just think. Think about what could be if you did this. Think new ideas of how to do it later. While it’s a good thing to think these things, it doesn’t get you anywhere because there is a piece missing that prevents you from going forward. Just thinking is just that: thinking.

There was a woman who had been sick for twelve years. She continued to have a bleeding disorder, and while she went to doctors, her finances tanked because of her medical bills (Mark 5:25-34 records the story). But she had a thought, this idea:

“If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed.”

She may have also thought she would have nothing to lose by checking Jesus out. She heard a lot about him healing people and decided to go to him. There is a lot in this story I want to point out.

  1. Though she was still sick and financially depleted, she did not lose hope that somewhere there was a solution to her plight. And because of that, she acted on her thought.
    • I believe this is where many get it wrong. This woman not only had the thought, but she also acted on it. I know for me I keep thinking but I don’t act. This woman, still sick and weak, made her way through the crowds of people to get to Jesus.
  2. Once the thought comes into our heads, do more than just think about the ‘what-if’ of it. If thought makes sense for you, the next step should be what to implement to make it happen. For example, if the thought is to go back to school or apply for a promotion at work, get the paperwork done to get the ball rolling. At least you will know that by doing so you are trying to respect the thought by making the attempt to make it reality.
    • The woman with the issue of blood made the attempt to make her sickness stop. Her hope was to do all she could to obtain the solution. We need to do the same.
  3. Jesus, realizing something happened as he felt power had left him, asked who touched him. Though she was scared, she admitted it was her who touched him as she told her story. Then Jesus said something interesting.
    • “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.”
      • Once God gives the thought, our faith process means we act on it. It should not be placed in our minds for safe keeping, but rather it should become an act of doing all we can to make it happen, like this woman did. Jesus recognized her faith was the fuel that gave her the energy to leave her home and make her way to him to get her answer. Jesus did not tell her she was the healer. He complimented her on her level of faith in obtaining her answer.
      • As a result of what she did, she was no longer frustrated, no longer depressed and worried of her sickness, no longer spending money on doctor bills. In fact, she received the blessing of the word immediately. The moment she touched him, immediately her bleeding stopped, and as Jesus felt in his body power had left him, she felt in her body that she was gifted with total healing.

So, here’s the challenge for all of us, me included. When a thought comes to mind, and it appears to be a good one that could solve something for you, it’s no problem thinking about it, but don’t let it stop there. If it keeps popping up in your brain, that may be God telling you action is needed. With God’s help, you very well may have the solution you have been searching for.

Stop just thinking about it. Have the faith to make it reality by doing it.

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Faith Muscle

When I go through what I consider a challenging time, I find myself wondering what to do next, desperately trying to find an answer. But listening to a sermon yesterday helped.

How to Handle A Setback by Pastor Daniel Floyd

The current challenging situation is plain and simple: I thought I was going to do one thing within a year, and one conversation has me revisiting that. However, the revisit has me in a quandary. So many questions and very few answers. The person I would like to discuss this with seems to be making sure to be unavailable, which doesn’t help. However, there is something about faith that from time-to-time needs a workout.

Pastor Daniel used as his text the story of Peter who, after James had been persecuted, found himself in prison, thinking he would be the next one to lose his life. But scripture says that though Peter was shackled in chains and had four guards round the clock watching him, he was able to get rest. Acts 12 describes Peter as sleeping while the church earnestly was in prayer for him.

It was the type of prayers that had the church pressing into the situation and not shrinking away from it. They did not just accept what Peter was going through. They were prayers that said to God that they would continue to pray to Him until they got a breakthrough.

Pastor Daniel: “The setback will cause you to either lean in or shrink away. For some of us we just accept the lot in life. If you are only expecting what your imagination can create, you are limiting God by the ability of your intellect. “

The question is when you do that, are you limiting God by what you expect is your lot in life? If you are a believer in God, then believe that God is an Ephesians 3:20 God, the One who is able to do exceeding abundantly above what you think or imagine.

Pastor Daniel: “Don’t go with what you see, go with what God said…I am gonna come in agreement with what God said about me.”

One evening, an angel touched Peter and told him to quickly get up and get his clothes and shoes on. The chains fell off Peter’s wrists, and he got his gear on and followed the angel out of prison. Once outside, the angel left him, and Peter made his way to Mary’s house. He knocked on the door and when someone heard his voice, she told the others that it was Peter outside; they didn’t believe her.

Whatever the situation, the challenge, wherever painful place you are, you may ask God why you are experiencing this.

Pastor Daniel: “I’d like to reframe the question to what is God doing for you? When we frame it wrong, we see it wrong.”

God is outside of time. He is with me today and tomorrow before tomorrow comes,and He already knows what will happen. God wants to grow something inside you. Character grows real good in pain.

Pastor Daniel: “Faith gets a muscle it never had when you are walking through something challenging.”

Could it be the challenging situation is being experienced by me as a setup for the blessing that is about to come? The challenge while going through a challenging situation is we want God to quickly get us to that victory answer; we don’t like the challenge of waiting while that faith muscle is being developed. In the meantime,

Have you ever felt stuck between two things? Life is never simple as we make it. Stuck between betrayal and forgiveness; stuck between lack of direction and friendships that are falling apart. How could Peter in chains and be asleep between guards while not knowing what would happen next?
Why can’t we react the same way? Perhaps worry creeps in instead of rest.

Pastor Daniel: “Why would I be awake at night worrying about tomorrow when God is already there? If He can be trusted in your today, He can be trusted in all your tomorrows.”

These quotes and the remainder of the sermon encouraged me to forge on, allowing God to give my faith the muscles it needs to live life not in my own thoughts, but in His knowledge, trusting Him through the setbacks and challenging times. My prayers have to be in agreement with Him, the alpha and omega of my faith.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,… Ephesians 3:20 NIV

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What to do when you don’t know what to do

So, there was a plan, which was to occur the end of 2024. Due to events beyond my control, that didn’t happen. All the while I thought it would not happen anyway, so the fact that it did not happen were not surprising. Possibly next year, but now I am not so sure of that either. The whole issue has me in a conundrum. I want whatever I do to be the right thing, but how do I discover it?

When I looked up conundrum, the dictionary defined the word as an intricate and difficult problem. I agree with that, because it does not only involve me. It involves family members. I want to be in their lives, but sometimes I am not so sure I will be to the extent I want to be. It’s appearing to be complicated.

The next definition said a question or problem having only a conjectural answer, and the word conjectural means a conclusion deduced by surmise or guesswork. But I don’t want to be in a conundrum created by conjecture based on guesswork. And that leads me to the title:

What do I do when I don’t know what to do?

From a faith perspective, the answer is [for now] simple: I am choosing not to make any definitive decisions for now, not this year, and maybe not for three or four years down the road. (Okay, maybe not four years; perhaps the next two to three years from now.) But what do I do in the meantime?

  1. Don’t rush things. I realized this week that I don’t have to make a decision, especially when there are other things that need tending to. For example, getting a handle on my finances and getting healthy are my top two concerns. There is nothing wrong with me doing all I can to get better with both.
  2. Pray, pray, pray. Rely on God to keep me stable while asking and discovering answers. Actually, I am making discoveries now, which is really good. That helps me know that all is not lost, I’m not a failure, and I have not run out of time. This gives me a level of peace, at least to some extent. But when the peace seems to dissipate, that is the time to pray and ask for help even more.
  3. Do what I can to locate the answers. Do research. Believe it or not, information that needs to be to be found is in the bible. What does the bible have to say on topics such as faith, trust, that God has a plan for you, and these next words…
  4. Be patient and wait. I never thought I would think this, but it’s a good thing to wait for things to unfold. I admit I am used to being the one to come up with quick answers, and the majority of time they weren’t good solutions, which meant I should have waited for something better. Because the decisions I want to discover are very important, I don’t want to screw this up. Not at this time in my life. I want to make wise decisions, and I want God to be involved.
  5. I am discovering that when something unfolds during this season of discovery, I am in awe. That is because I know the answers are not mine, but God’s. I can’t fully explain it, but I just know when something pops in my spirit it’s from Him. For me, this is a new way of doing life.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

God’s plans will prosper me and not give me harm; God’s plans provide hope and a future. All these things I want. Please God, help me not to screw this up…

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Embracing Again a Dream

It was more than a couple of decades ago – my son was just becoming a tween – that this happened. My dream was to get a graduate degree in psychology/counseling, and I mustered up the energy to apply, and started classes. One of the professors on the first day of class told many they had no right to be in his class because of the undergraduate majors they had – which was not psychology. Being one of those people (accounting major), I overlooked that, as I knew beforehand this instructor had a reputation which was not a positive one.

Weeks later we had our first test. I completely misread the question, and when I got the paper back, it had a big zero at the top; I was devastated and froze in my seat staring at the zero during the class break. I had my glasses on, and this instructor came over and sat in front of me, took my glasses off, and looked at them, asking me if I could see. There was no laugh, no smirk like he was attempting to make a joke. This only added to my devastation. His words faded in the background, but his response was branded in my brain. I took from that that he was viewing me an idiot, like I could not do this program. When the class returned from the break, I quickly gathered my things and left, never to return – not to his class or to the program. I felt like a complete failure.

Years later I enrolled in seminary and in 2016 I graduated from Palmer Seminary, proud of my achievements, because I wasn’t sure I could accomplish it. But even then, and currently years later, the desire for a doctorate degree in psychology &/or counseling was edged in my memory bank.

Then there was a movie on today that I watched. I believe God uses anything to encourage and challenge me, and that includes movies. It was on Amazon Prime called The Best Version of Love

Main character Rebecca was a type of life coach who was helping a retired soccer player named Clive make life changes. She incorporated various tools for him to implement to make him open up rather than block relationships with people and make himself a better person. I felt the need to write down what was being said, so here are a few:

  • write down three things that shaped you as a person, and how you might make changes
  • Do you have repeat patterns of behavior? My answer: definitely, and I need to change that
  • Take your weaknesses and focus on your strengths
  • Clive said (as he was trying to hit a golf ball) “Much easier to look than hit.” My interpretation: I choose to imagine something than to make it a reality, and I avoid things I find difficult.

Which brings me back to this dream I’ve had for years. I admit it feels like I am out of my league, and because of what the professor said years ago during class break I still think about. Whatever school I enroll in is going to be a lot of work, not to mention the possibility of taking the test afterwards to be licensed. I am not like my son who is really smart, who took his boards to be an anesthesiologist and passed it the first time during the summer. While I know anything is possible with God, do I believe I can do it? I guess I have to do the leaf challenge from the movie:

  • Get a bunch of leaves and spread them out on a table.
  • Each leaf represents something you need to change.
    • identify what needs to change
    • identify how to change it
  • Then flip the leaf over and dispose of it.

After watching the movie (everything worked out at the end, which is what always happens with these movies), I started doing research of schools, cost, application requirements and the like. For now, my attitude is in a ‘let’s see’ mode, and for me that is a positive thing. At least I am going to give it serious consideration.

“If people aren’t calling you crazy, you aren’t thinking big enough.” -Richard Branson

(Frankly, I’m calling myself crazy for thinking this. I don’t need people to tell me…)

“If your dreams don’t scare you,

they aren’t big enough.” 

(Oh, it’s definitely big enough. Don’t worry; this scares me…)

“Think little goals and expect little achievements.” David J Schwartz

(I no longer want to be or do little anymore….)

Let it be known I don’t want to fail…

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The Office of the Registrar: God registered me for a class I needed

Most of this summer has been financially schizophrenic. Something happens, then it works out, and then a few days later something else goes awry. But through it all, I know I need to pass the financial test. It’s for my own good.

I can’t really explain why I haven’t learned this, but there are some things I need to learn once and for all. I admit that I should have learned it by now, and maybe finally I am getting some knowledge. God will help if you allow Him to do so. By the same token, you have to allow God to be the supreme teacher, and whether you like it or not, you have to take the class, even if it means you are kicking and screaming every step of the way. This involves some points:

God has already registered you for the class so accept it. When the finances started jumping off the rails, I had to take a pause and try to figure out what went wrong, and then figure out how to resolve it. So, I had to write down some things, and number crunch.

Do the homework assigned you and figure out what can be done better. Though I tried to come up with solutions, still other things kept coming to the surface: setting up paying rent in two payments, only for that to not work, so I need to come up with another way to make payment. Loans being refinanced, using a money tracker to see precisely where the money was going, then making changes to cause me to think before buying something. Doing the money tracker opened my eyes to how many times I ate out, how often I went to the grocery store, and deciding to only buy things when I ran out instead of buying things to be stocked up. Only buying things I really needed, not wanted.

Through the whole process, I am learning more to not stress out, but instead immediately give over to God. This was especially helpful during times when there seemed to be no way out. I continue to learn that there is an honest realism to implement truly when I say “God, I trust you.” There is a difference between just doing lip service vs. really meaning those words. I have found when I pray and give something over to God, he really does take it, replacing the inner angst with peace I can’t explain. Even if I wanted to stress over the latest financial snafu, He doesn’t allow me to take it back. For that I am so appreciative.

So, I will continue to take the class God registered me for. While I admit I was kicking and screaming at first, this student has settled in a bit. Now when I have to complete another assignment that I think I can’t pass, God gives me the confidence that I will.

So teach on God, teach on…just let me know when I get my A so I can get out of this class.

From the Message Bible:

Pile your troubles on GOD’s shoulders–he’ll carry your load, he’ll help you out. Psalm 55:22

Live carefree before God; he is most careful with you. 1 Peter 5:7

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Healed, Saved, & Praising

Heal me, Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise.

– Jeremiah 17:14 (NIV)

This verse is full of confidence in what God can do as we ask for it. It is not an arrogant stance, but a stance that is needed as we submit the request. Another way of asking is to say to God if you use your power to heal me, then it is done.

If we ask for salvation, that too is a done deal. We will be in His family because of our belief in what Christ has done on our behalf.

And when all is said and done, this verse gives God a confident statement about what we do: God is the one that we praise. Not our efforts, not our way of doing life, but God is the one we praise because He is the healer, He is the savior, He is the one we praise. What a great connection we can have with God if we make the professions that is listed in this one verse:

You heal You save I praise!

Remember we have a Source that is full of power to provide what this verse professes. Let us be confident when we say this to God, knowing that he can do what no one else can do. If you believe this verse, say it with a robust clarity that He will not only do it, but it is done!

GOD, pick up the pieces.

Put me back together again You are my praise!

–Jeremiah 17:14 (MSG)

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God Is In Control

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately, wondering why things happen the way they do. I wonder why things get a critical point while wondering how and why I got there.

Perhaps there are some answers, many of which I have to admit are my fault.

Doing things the familiar but unsuccessful way. Why does this happen? It’s because of the familiarity of it, which leads to the ‘I’m used to doing things this way’ road that leads to a dead end. When one does life this way, there is nothing new to discover, no new paths to move from the same ol’ way to doing something new. What would that entail?

Here’s an example. Instead of trying to do math in your head, thinking you are keeping a mental record of what you have spent, how about writing everything down? Having a financial journal of what you have spent can really open your eyes to discovering why your bank account dwindled to next to nothing, because you forgot some items you spent. Next writing down how much to spend for groceries, gas for your car, and other things that you may not really need to spend. I was surprised that writing a grocery list and vowing not to go over an amount actually worked. It aided in keeping my bank account in the green and not in the red.

But here is something more on the spiritual level.

Doing things your way while not including God will lead to disaster. Just because you go to church and agree with what the minister says in the sermon doesn’t necessarily mean you are adhering to what is being said. It is like the words are going in one ear and out the other. Because once the service is over, you return to your way of doing life. For example, when God says to come to him and give him what is on your mind to the point of worry (which he says not to do if you read Matthew 6), but you don’t give it over to him because you try to fix it using your outdated methods, you are spinning in an endless cycle that yields results, but not good positive ones. The worry continues, the prayer (if you do that) bounces off the ceiling, as you continue to keep in control of your challenging situation. Which leads to another point.

Acknowledgement of what is really happening. This point is where the rubber meets the road. Admit you are trying to stay in control. Answer this question: How is staying in control working for you? I hope your answer will be an honest one, admitting it is getting you nowhere. And further admit you have been going nowhere for years, decades even, to no avail. What would happen if God took over the reins?

If you truly gave things over to God, the responsibility is off you and on Him. I may have written about this in another post, but as you can see, one has to keep being reminded to give it over to God. You see, it is not you that is in control, but God is. He has the resources to do an ‘immediately’, meaning he can give you the solution in a suddenly type of manner. But admit there are things you have to learn, and it may take a while for your mindset to switch from the way you do things, to accepting and allowing God to be in control and experiencing how God does things. Be patient; the way God does things oftentimes is not in a quick, microwave manner. Remember there are some things you have to relearn. Wait I say on the Lord.

Doing things in a new way from doing things in an old way for years will take time. But it will make life better, if you allow God to be in control.

Prayer:

Lord God, you are my Jehovah-Jireh. You promise that you are my shepherd, and I lack for nothing. Show me the new thing. Give me the strength to follow in your way, as I give up my unsuccessful ways of doing things. Let me give up control and wait on you.

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The Start Issue

Why is it when I want to begin something positive, turmoil resonates deep within me? Why is it when I want to start something that is meaningful and important to me, my mind seems to instantly think about something else that has nothing to do with the action I want to start? All the while this is happening, I often wonder just what is going on, and it has me often confused and frustrated.

My mind starts spinning in endless circles, thinking of other things, and before I know it, I am doing something else. I notice it is busy stuff, that can wait until another time, yet it seems like I have to get it done at that moment. There is some type of mental immediacy that tells me to focus my attention on the ‘it’ that has no importance in the here and now. But yet I find myself doing that, being in a circle of doing things that can wait to a later time.

These endless circles of the unimportant cause me to fight from within. Why do I keep doing this? I often ask myself. Unfortunately, I have no answer for it, let alone any solution to move out of these mundane and unimportant tasks. After continuing to think why I do this, I instead told myself that I need to start what is important no matter what I think.

Today was the beginning of the start.

I pulled out my reading materials, and at first I just stared at it, as though I was waiting for the endless circles to start turning in my mind. And that did happen, but this time I did not give into it. And something interesting happened to my mind.

The mental endless circles of doing something else stopped.

I was surprised. It was as though because I started doing something I deemed important won the battle, which made me feel victorious. But why was that, after weeks of trying to do the important stuff?

THE BEGINNING

IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF THE WORK

Every act has a beginning which is most important. The enemy also knows that to begin is the start of his demise, so he tries to do everything to stop the beginning. I realized all the endless circles was his way of stopping me from beginning, and it was working for a while. But what the enemy does not know is my God is bigger, greater, and higher than any other.

I also learned that I must keep my hand to the plow, and just begin. It doesn’t have to be for a long amount of time, the most important thing to keep in mind is to just begin. Eventually, my time in beginning will increase, as long as I keep being determined to continue.

Your beginnings will seem humble, so prosperous will your future be. Job 8:7

Starting out may seem small (like applying a few minutes to the task), but keep at it, and it will happen, and you will be prosperous in it. The inner struggle will dissipate, and you will be victorious.

Ask God for help. He will come to your aid.

For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. Matthew 7:8 NIV

I have no doubt that the inner turmoil will continue to rear its ugly head. But I must do my part in continuing to ask God for help, being determined to persevere in the process.

I sought the Lord, and he heard me, And delivered me from all my fears. Psalm 34:4 KJV (italics mine)

So I must continue to begin, to start what I want to accomplish. God will be there for me and will fight and win my battles on my behalf, as I continue to seek him.