For years I participated in music ministry, singing, directing choirs, teaching music and the like. After many years, I was worn out while at the same time, I needed something new. I felt there had to be something more to life than what I was then doing.
So I left music. Fast forward about ten years, where I was at a new church (literally, it was a church plant), and the desire, which if I am honest never left, came alive again. I wanted to be a part. But that was full of frustration. Going for auditions and not sounding great at all. I am grateful for volunteering at a church for their Sunday evening service and I will be so thankful that they welcomed me in. I became interested in music again. Tony their music director became like my big brother, another person I am blessed to have met.
But back to the new church. I auditioned and was finally accepted to the music group. I actually thought I could pick up where I left off years ago. When the time came for me to lead a song, well, let’s say what I thought would happen…didn’t in my opinion. I just fell flat, full of nerves, and I didn’t fare well. I had asked about leading (after all, if you don’t ask how will they know?), thinking if I let them know I wanted to do it, it would happen. It did, but I think the timing was a bit off; I wasn’t ready to take on such a task. I felt really bad about it and just went to God in prayer and apologized for being so bad. The I realized something: it had been a while since I had done that, and why did I think all would be well? I had not prepared for it, hadn’t been getting my voice ready for example. I needed to wait for God’s timing for before that happened again.
And so I was actually content with staying in the background, a place that had previously frustrated me in the past. And then something occurred this past Sunday that I had never anticipated would happen: I surprisingly got a chance to do it again.
As is usually the case, rehearsal occurred, and everything seemed to be going well with the music, I knew what I needed to sing, and then one of group who usually sings leads to the songs couldn’t sing. I think he got overwhelmed with the words to the song (which is a beautiful song called Build My Life. Though he tried, he couldn’t begin. Miraculously, I began to sing the song. This time there were no nerves, there was no hesitation, it just kind of happened. I even signaled the musicians as to where the song was going next. Eventually the leader got back into singing the rest of the song, the whole while I was thinking, God, I wasn’t expecting that to happen.
But given time, and the right moment, it did. Lots to learn here.
Patience is key. Trying to make it happen at times works. Oftentimes it doesn’t, and the outcome one hopes to achieve, doesn’t quite work out as mentally planned.
Give your cares to the Lord, and leave it there. God encourages us to give burdens to him, casting our cares upon him, because he cares for us.
It may take some time, but wait for God’s timing, and expect great things from him, particularly the unexpected ones. It is in those times when much is learned in the wait, as hope for God’s timing is anticipated.
“My soul, wait silently for God alone, For my expectation is from Him.” Psalm 62:5
“Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.” James 4:10
“Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time,” 1 Peter 5:6