For years I have been struggling with the issue of sleep. When it is time to sleep and get rest, I go to sleep, but I don’t get much rest. From a sleep I had, it was discovered I suffer from sleep apnea. Apnea is defined as a temporary cesstation of breathing, and it can occur with people of any age, from newborns to adults. I have been sleeping with a machine for some years now, and while it has greatly improved the air flow while I sleep, I often awake during the night, and when my morning begins and I wake up for the day, I am tired.
So tired I have been for the past three days I decided perhaps I just need a day to get away from the usual way of doing life (another way of saying going to the office to work). Since the weather has been warm, I thought being outside instead of being in a windowless office would do the body good. But earlier this week I thought about something, and it seemed like God opened a spiritual window and showed me something.
One evening I was so tired I wanted to go to bed. The problem with that is that it was only 6:30. There was no way I could go to bed for the evening that early, as I knew at best I could get four hours of sleep in, and there would be a big possibility I would be wide awake at a time when many would be preparing to go to sleep for the night: 10:30. Then it would take me two to three hours to get back to sleep, tossing and turning every step of the way. Instead I decided to write.
My goal was to commit to writing at least an hour each evening and see if I could get some creative juices flowing. I discovered through opening up the bible and looking up some scripture that I wanted to write about would start the process. The more I read, the more the focus seemed to shift away from being tired, and I noticed I was awakening. I noticed I was not so tired as when I came home, and when I looked at the clock instead of an hour it was now two hours later, and I felt better. What happened here, I thought. As I sat back in my chair trying to piece together an answer. I realized I was reading the living word of God, and the more I read the more I became alive. I felt as though God was saying “take in more of me, and I will cause you to live.” This kept happening. The next evening I did the same thing, and the awakening happened again. Then that spiritual window opened and I realized something. What happens when you are tired? For one, I don’t do anything, I don’t move much, I don’t think much, I don’t keep that commitment to write. I feel down, frustrated, and get tired of thinking about being tired, all things that keep me stagnated, far away from obtaining goals, feeling stuck in neutral. It is a subtle but effective way the enemy keeps me from reaching my God-given purpose in life.
And isn’t that just where the enemy would have me be? After all, if I am in stuck mode, I will not fulfil the purpose for which God has created me. The victory would not be reached. I surmised that there is a war going on, and if I’m going to win, I need the Sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God, deep down within. What good is the Word of God to you if you do not know, if you don’t read? I had to admit that though I am tired, I must contend for the faith, and fight not on my own, but with the knowledge of God’s Living Word through Jesus Christ, who is the Living Word.
What subtleties do you encounter that hinders you from truly living in Christ? Eating unhealthy, not exercising, and most importantly, not reading? Be challenged to fight the good fight of faith by knowing what God’s lifetime manual, the Living Word has to say. The only way you will know is to ingest a biblical meal, coming alive in the process.