School has begun, and I admit it did not begin on a positive note. While I looked forward to the Phoenix trip to visit my counselor and tour Grand Canyon University (Why not? The school provided this all-expense paid adventure!), I knew that Saturday would be packed with going here and there, receiving a lot of information, hoping my mind would process it all. In a way it did, but it mentally tired me out. Class would start the following Thursday, trying to understand the format of online learning (and not really understanding it at all), wondering if my school loans were approved and then feeling more overwhelmed when I was told they were. My counselor told me all the paperwork was done, and I was good to go. Falling into bed that evening with my mind not being able to shut off, then making sure everything was packed to be outside for my ride to the airport at 5am the next morning to board a packed airplane with my tired head still spinning, wondering if I was going to be successful.
It took about three days for me to mentally allow myself to calm down and get some rest. Tuesday, I met my professor who supplied me and my classmates with encouraging words that enabled me to trust myself in taking the time to read everything in the online classroom, and it was full of information, from resources to read, to setting up zoom for meetings, to how to read the assignments, due dates of assignments, how to submit the words that formed my responses to the questions, and on and on it went.

But then something happened.

I allowed myself to submit an assignment. Then another. And before I knew it, I had submitted four assignments; I surprised myself. But more importantly, I recognized that as I pressed the submit button, I was starting to calm down, get sleep at night, as I started to understand what I needed to do. I thought of how to be productive by staying on top of the reading, purchasing a digital planner I truly love (once I learned how to use it), and following my inkling not to purchase the expensive ones but one that was under $40 and included everything I need for all aspects my life.

Now if I can just stay on top of everything. School in the AM, work in the PM, eat dinner and then back to school work. I vowed not to overwhelm myself with each day, and how to accomplish tasks and not allow time to pass without doing anything, map out a plan that would utilize my time efficiently (not just for school, but for doing laundry, paying bills, etc.), which would eliminate any actions that would make me feel like I wasted precious time. Then positive thoughts infiltrated my mind.

Maybe I can do this. I think I can get into this learning thing. I think I will be successful. And that made me feel better about this journey. This might just work out after all.